My brother John thinks it would be a great opportunity, Katie has serious reservations, and I just haven't gotten to yes...but I think I will. The pros are the professional opportunity that this job would provide. I would see the inner workings of a seminary, get to know many teachers and students, and be immersed in this community of environmentally active, spiritual seekers. The birds are also REALLY awesome, because there are so many trees around! This week in the middle of spring has been quite pretty, although I understand their summers can be very hot and dry.
The downside is that I would leave my house, my friends, my Alanon group and my team of healers. I might not see as much of Katie, although I can't plan on seeing her if I stay in St. Louis. Missing her is something I have to deal with no matter what. If I move here, I will have to pack stuff up and move - which I intensely dislike, and maybe even rent or sell my house if I like it here. I already miss my deck and screened-in porch, but I can't make a decision because of a screened-in porch! Can I?
Sometimes it seems like it is the next step in my adventure of life. I mean, these people are just as wierd and woowoo as I am, I would be living in their community and getting exposed to all these spiritual concepts on a regular basis, and I would be making professional contacts for my future with an MDiv. I would be gaining professional knowledge that would help me if I decide to teach, and this Dean has 15 years of experience as pastor of a church.
Then at other times I think, "I can't work 30 hours a week behind a desk!" I mean - I haven't worked 30 hours a week behind a desk ever! Holifit -I did so many things, and before that I was in physical therapy where I was always physically moving. Plus this job will require me to learn new stuff on the computer! I guess that's good and bad. There's also that thing of working for somebody else. It's been a LONG time since I was anything but a boss. Altho I learned more about getting along with people as a boss, than I did as an employee. Did I ever tell you about getting fired 5 times? No? Well, another time. suffice it to say, my history makes me nervous.
The Dean has suggested that I try it for 90 days...that's the legal requirement anyway...and if it doesn't work, I just move back to St. Louis. What's not to like with that option? Well, what if I muck up my relationship with the Dean? and I will be keeping the records of all my fellow students...that could be awkward...
Well, I could create all kinds of horrible scenarios...but the truth is I think I want to do this. The only thing holding me back are my house and Katie...and Katie isn't even an issue until November or December! Leaving my house empty for 3 months kinda sucks...and do you think I could get all my flower pots down here? with the flowers still alive?
Oh - there's the faith thing. Isn't God supposed to tell me in no uncertain terms? I'm going to continue listening and having faith that I am on the right path. Surely I would hear a "no", even if I don't recognize the "yes"! AND - what an honor that they even ask me! I am very complimented:)
Hey - and thanks for listening:)
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