Breaking Open

Life continues to provide opportunities to open my heart, step out of my box, and commit to peace.  Practicing mindfulness and praying while disagreeing with someone, "Please help me with this, Lord," is humbling and brings me back to center.  I am reminded of my goal - to stay in my own core, to live in my potential, to stand firm in my truth...as I listen, see thro someone else's eyes, and finally, let it be enough to have said my truth.

Is it that I am 51, going on 52 that enables me to see when I am not going to be heard...and let it go?  When did having peace become more important than being right?  Well, at least sometimes this is true...and sometimes, it's important, for whatever reason, to get mad - and say so.  The philosophy of "feeling your feelings"...it is so valuable, but never easy, and the path of "what to do with them" is seldom clear.

Ok - enough philosophy:)  You all need to read "Here When You Need Me" by Kate Braestrup.  It is profound, entertaining, will make you laugh and cry, numerous times.  She proposes that miracles are actually defined, by gratitude.  "A miracle is generally understood to be an extraordinary event that cannot be explained by any plausible application of natural laws and principles."  If extraordinary and unexplainable are the only definition, then horrible things are miracles as well.  Being in the wrong place at the wrong time, could be a miracle...but if we add gratitude...well, it changes everything.

I want to take this a step farther.  What if we are hoping for a miracle?  Actively working for a miracle?  I've recently began dating someone new.  She is NOTHING like anyone I have ever dated before...and if I can keep my core, stay in my truth, and let her encourage me to be more than I believe...will that be a miracle?  She is beautiful, intelligent, wealthy, and pushes me in my truth and in accepting my own greatness.  What if she's "the one"?

God works in mysterious ways and I also believes, has a sense of humor.  Loving is something I already know how to do...keeping myself intact is not.  This time I want to "break open" and love myself more deeply than I ever have.  I believe this will enable me to not only stay intact, but to expand my concept of love.  What do you think?