Wow - so Jules and I just had a huge fight and all I can say is that it sucks. I don't understand her, she doesn't understand me - men are from Mars, women are from Venus...except we are both women. The really ironic thing is that I feel like my communication skills are much improved since my last relationship - but Jules and I are so different...that corporate vs woowoo thing. It's also incredibly frustrating (well, on many levels!) to see how our histories are dictating how we react, interpret, and "allow" each other to "be". And of course, without our histories, we wouldn't be who we are and thus, not have fallen in love with each other.
A wierd thing - I always expect my current partner to leave. I am always terrified they will leave and always think the worst when there is a disagreement. Yet, I have been the one to leave in 95% of my relationships. It's not that I leave before they can, I have needed to leave every single time that I did, and would do it again. So why am I always so frightened that they will leave? I'm sure Freud would love me.
So in my last post, I said I knew how to manifest. What I don't know how to do is work through difficult things in an intimate relationship. I want to fold, to acquiesce, to give in and fix it! NOW. I also want to stand up for myself, be clear in what I feel and think, not agree when I don't, and even allow myself to get mad. I also (yes, there are multiple voices - I'm only giving you 3!) want to understand where she is coming from, be the damn bomb diggity in my communication skills, and always resolve every situation.
I just don't think that's too much to ask, do you? Those of you in long-term relationships...how do you get through a horrible fight? Do you always carry a piece of that fight with you? I don't want to build up walls...I am just starting to take the ones down that I put up previously!
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