So seminary homework has really got me thinking. You know, small concepts, like who God really is, what is forgiveness, and how do you deal with those people whose beliefs are diametrically opposed to your beliefs?
The latter question is on my mind, b/c I am going to my young cousin's wedding next weekend...in Wichita, Kansas. Yes, the state that believes the Bible's creation story should be included in science classes on creation. Now, my family in Wichita - they love me. They just do...in spite of myself and in spite of their religious beliefs. You know - there's that Lesbian thing, then I'm divorced, owned my own company, am rather opinionated (or I'm just right! HA) and now? I'm in seminary. A female. A Lesbian...in seminary. Life is never boring.
So when I first came out as a Lesbian, my cousin Bob (from Wichita) wrote me a letter saying how he knew Jesus could save me and how he loved me anyway. (Is it any wonder I did not have a warm and fuzzy relationship with Jesus, coming into seminary?) Now the truth is, Bob wrote that letter out of his love for me, misguided tho' I think the message was. However, I was not anywhere near mature enough to take it as a message of love, but instead took it as a judgement on me. I mean, "I love you anyway"...is judgemental and condescending - but it was Bob's issue, not mine.
The thing is - when Dad died, my extended family, extended themselves. They were THERE for me. Mom and I were with Dad when he died and it was a confusing mess that day. To complicate matters, brother John was literally in the middle of moving when I called him with the news, and needed a day to get settled.
Dad's sister Ruth and her husband, Vic, just happened to be visiting. I would never have chosen them to help me through a crisis, but that just shows what I didn't know. They fed us, answered the phone, packed us to go to the farm, and just loved Mom. I was able to write the obituary, plan the funeral, make all the arrangements (please - plan this now for yourself...don't make your children do it. It is horrific.) and (vomit) go pick out the casket. My aunt Ruth even let me vent about how horrible the funeral home was, in spite of her own grief.
Long story short...I learned that my family loved me in an indisputable way. They also saw how much I loved my father, how patient I was with my mother, and loved a new side of me. It was a time of healing and transformation. It showed me the Christ spirit in a very tangible way, I never would have thought possible...and I hope, for them as well.
Next weekend, we get to celebrate, rather than mourn. How wonderful! LOL - and even tho I know my family is hoping I won't embarress them (I'm taking the Lesbian sticker off my forehead), I hope I am a positive addition to their celebration of love. What I know is that I love them and they love me, and I am proud of my young cousin for his journey as well. To me, this is a concrete example of how the world could get along, if it would just try.
Namaste'
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