I just can't do it anymore. Be yelled at. I haven't blogged...b/c I just couldn't. First John, Julie & I go to Texas and clean out the house I grew up in. My sister-in-law is a nightmare, so she makes a hard thing, oh! so much harder. Then I head back to school and my girlfriend of 6 weeks (yea, it was deep) breaks up with me. Then in school, my dean yells at me in class. Tells me to shut-up. I am so done with this school. But if you thought that was the end of my month, no, no - I have to go back to Texas and finish the job - which I have to say, was good. I was able to gain closure - but let me tell ya, it was still hard. Do you know how odd it was to drive away, and realize I might never see the house again?
Then my brother falls off the pedestal that I have him on. I will give no details, but let me just say - watching he and Julie walk down the same path as my parents' marriage is fucking scary. It has been empowering in some ways - he and I are equals now. I am no more stupid or incompetent or omniscient, than he is. We both get to be mortal and fallible, and still love each other...but my new position in life, is just as world shifting, as his new position.
So I am transferring to Meadville Unitarian Universalist seminary in Chicago. It is larger, more established, more professional (I bet their professors don't yell at their students!) than Sancta Sophia. I also think their theology makes sense. SSS...their theology is just too "out there" for me. Can you imagine that I am saying something is too "out there" for me???? but it is. So Chicago will be 'intensive" courses something like SSS, in that I only have to be on campus for January. Right, Chicago in January. Joy. I lived in Chicago for 7 years...never thought I would go back. Never say never.
What am I looking forward to? Going to NYC with Katie to one of her good friend's wedding. Then I plan to go see Mom (Boston) and travel onto Provincetown. I'm hoping my cousin is going to join me - and we can just hang out, catch up, and enjoy the east coast in October. I am dating someone new...but she thinks the world is going to end in October. Might as well be in Provincetown:)
This has been a summer of evolution and learning. The heat has been on in so many ways:) I'm also looking forward to getting a reading list before the first day of class! I hope your summer has been good - maybe we are all ready for life to cool down a bit...joining Persephone in the Underworld may be more peaceful than we imagined.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Stan, the Man
So, the names have been changed to protect...me. I've heard too many horror stories about how employers find blogs and then throw you in jail. Or something like that. Anyway - Stan is a student at Sancta Sophia, and he and I have had a few issues. He has been labeled genius...he is a chemist and seems quite brilliant in that field. Except he can't keep a job, b/c he has no social skills. He has also been labeled with Asberger's, Autistic, and crazy. He interrupts, talks on & on, and talks about science endlessly... in an alternative seminary...alternative simply means we're all batshit crazy, but are WOOWOO...not scientists. Please.
Stan is religious-right about science (I don't know why he's in seminary...my friend says it's b/c seminaries take all the misfits that no one else wants...I'm not sure what that says about me:) ANYway...Stan made me crazy in April, b/c he interrupted everyone, including the instructors. He is very tall, large, with a BIG voice...and so no one else can be heard when he is talking. So - I approached him as I was trained to...by himself, so there was no pressure to impress someone or fear of being embarressed....and asked him to not interrupt. He had a fit. Yelled a bit, told me to "let it go" and that he had heard that all his life and was sick of it. It didn't seem appropriate to ask him, if he had heard it all his life... why he hadn't tried to change it? There I go - being Ms. Pro-Active!
So in June, we had our healing modalities class. Stan started out ok, but got worse as the week progressed. Finally, he threw a bit of a fit in class, about how everyone else was interrupting him...and I very gently said (truly - i was gentle and quiet in my approach) "but Stan, you interrupt as well...". WW3. He screamed at me. Told me to shut up 3 times and generally, scared me to death. I truly had so much adrenaline running through my body, I could have run to Canada. Those of you who have been in abusive relationships, know what I mean. Fight, flight or freeze. I froze. It was truly awful....but you know that is not the end of the story.
I did manage to pray. And I asked myself...do I need to leave? Can I stay? What should I do? Now those of you who know me, know I have many spiritual resources...I have angels, guides, and a fairly new tribe that comes from a past-life experience...or an astral travel experience...or I made it up...i don't care - my tribe is powerful and they take care of me. They are the ones who answered. "Open your heart." Are you fucking kidding me???? "Open your heart". Yep, that's what they said, and that is how I answered.
The thing is - I trust them. So I opened my heart. Maybe it was only a crack, but it was not slammed shut as I did in April, when the Esoteric-religious-right woman verbally attacked me. (Why am I being attacked in each class? sigh - I've been told it's b/c I'm ready. I'm a ground breaker. It's my astrological signs...whatever. I also am the only new student, the only one without a background in esoterism, and the one with all the questions) So back to my tribe. I do trust them. And this has been quite a process.
To make a long story short...sort of...I asked them to give Stan another chance for healing...(they could have kicked him out...he was that verbally abusive) and so they did...give him another chance. While my 51 y/o self was pleased with my response, my "little girl" and my "young woman" were not so happy. There has been quite a lot of fear, anxiety and anger to process this week. Did I mention I get to go back on Sunday and be in a counseling class with Stan? Joy.
And so the point of this blog is to tell you what I got in my craniosacral session today. Open my heart and stay neutral. Expect nothing from Stan. Not healing, not anger, not quiet, not shouting...let him be empowered to find his own healing...do not offer him anything but neutral, open hearted, love. Try to imagine neutral love. Imagine giving it to a terrorist.
The other small thing...Stan had to get that "loud" in energy volume, to shatter the hold my mother has had on my energy system. It could only be shattered if I had an open heart. This whole thing is really about my own healing. The whole, damn thing. God truly works in mysterious ways...
Stan is religious-right about science (I don't know why he's in seminary...my friend says it's b/c seminaries take all the misfits that no one else wants...I'm not sure what that says about me:) ANYway...Stan made me crazy in April, b/c he interrupted everyone, including the instructors. He is very tall, large, with a BIG voice...and so no one else can be heard when he is talking. So - I approached him as I was trained to...by himself, so there was no pressure to impress someone or fear of being embarressed....and asked him to not interrupt. He had a fit. Yelled a bit, told me to "let it go" and that he had heard that all his life and was sick of it. It didn't seem appropriate to ask him, if he had heard it all his life... why he hadn't tried to change it? There I go - being Ms. Pro-Active!
So in June, we had our healing modalities class. Stan started out ok, but got worse as the week progressed. Finally, he threw a bit of a fit in class, about how everyone else was interrupting him...and I very gently said (truly - i was gentle and quiet in my approach) "but Stan, you interrupt as well...". WW3. He screamed at me. Told me to shut up 3 times and generally, scared me to death. I truly had so much adrenaline running through my body, I could have run to Canada. Those of you who have been in abusive relationships, know what I mean. Fight, flight or freeze. I froze. It was truly awful....but you know that is not the end of the story.
I did manage to pray. And I asked myself...do I need to leave? Can I stay? What should I do? Now those of you who know me, know I have many spiritual resources...I have angels, guides, and a fairly new tribe that comes from a past-life experience...or an astral travel experience...or I made it up...i don't care - my tribe is powerful and they take care of me. They are the ones who answered. "Open your heart." Are you fucking kidding me???? "Open your heart". Yep, that's what they said, and that is how I answered.
The thing is - I trust them. So I opened my heart. Maybe it was only a crack, but it was not slammed shut as I did in April, when the Esoteric-religious-right woman verbally attacked me. (Why am I being attacked in each class? sigh - I've been told it's b/c I'm ready. I'm a ground breaker. It's my astrological signs...whatever. I also am the only new student, the only one without a background in esoterism, and the one with all the questions) So back to my tribe. I do trust them. And this has been quite a process.
To make a long story short...sort of...I asked them to give Stan another chance for healing...(they could have kicked him out...he was that verbally abusive) and so they did...give him another chance. While my 51 y/o self was pleased with my response, my "little girl" and my "young woman" were not so happy. There has been quite a lot of fear, anxiety and anger to process this week. Did I mention I get to go back on Sunday and be in a counseling class with Stan? Joy.
And so the point of this blog is to tell you what I got in my craniosacral session today. Open my heart and stay neutral. Expect nothing from Stan. Not healing, not anger, not quiet, not shouting...let him be empowered to find his own healing...do not offer him anything but neutral, open hearted, love. Try to imagine neutral love. Imagine giving it to a terrorist.
The other small thing...Stan had to get that "loud" in energy volume, to shatter the hold my mother has had on my energy system. It could only be shattered if I had an open heart. This whole thing is really about my own healing. The whole, damn thing. God truly works in mysterious ways...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Faith Crisis #3
I guess I'm just going to have a faith crisis on a regular basis. For someone who thought she was so "open minded" - I sure have a lot of BS (belief system:) that is getting blown to smithereens! This last paper was a menopausal bitch- and since I am menopausal, I can say that. "She" - the paper, was moody, volatile, inconsistent, and unfair. She ran hot and cold, up and down...and I re-created her 5 times. From scratch. I finally sent it in, 2 days late, and am SO glad to have this one done. I'm sure there was a lot I could learn about time management, as I spent 4 of the 5 weeks on Jesus and MBE, and then had only 1 week to compare creation myths.
So. In my research I realize, that MOST of the stories in the Bible are inspired from mythology. Yes, I said this already...in my last blog. This is a big deal to me! I also am coming to terms with God being a Rorschact (?) blot. Really - God is a human construct. I know, I know - I am still going to hell. Personally, I believe Hades chose the Underworld just to get out of all those meetings with Zeus and all the other Gods! Just think about all that ego!
I also did the tiniest piece of research on Joseph Campbell and one thing he said really hit home for me. "I don't need faith, I have my own experience!" This truly is what it comes down to for me. God has been recreated more times than my most recent paper...just in MY experience in the last week! so I had to come down to, "What does God mean to me?" Do I truly believe that God exists?
Well, those of you who are wondering if I was taken in the Rapture (HA! LOL) I do believe in God. The reason I believe in God is simply not about church or belief systems or prayer (well, maybe a little bit of prayer)...it's about my own healing and evolution. I've been healed instantaneously of strep throat, while being the biggest sinner there is by definition...I sold my house in Fenton in an amazing way (another story), and Holistic Fitness sold, thereby giving me a time of true blessing and healing. It simply doesn't matter to me how all of this is explained - it means God exists for me. God was there for me and is more real for me now, in this time of blessing and few dramatic events...than ever before. I think that is it. God doesn't have to be in the instantaneous healing...altho that's nice, VERY nice...but this time of evolution for me, is going to be a mainstay for me in my future. This is foundation time.
Truly. When I am sitting on my deck, writing my papers...it may be raining (I have a screened-in porch:), or windy, or sunny...the birds are out, the air is fresh and LIFE IS DAMN GOOD. I see God on my screened-in porch. It's an energy, an atmosphere. It is being soaked into my bones and is saturating into my blood. I will be able to bring this energy up, into my experience, from now on. And please understand. I DO appreciate what a blessed time this is. My life is fabulous. Glorious. and I am grateful. Even when the papers I write take on a personality of their own and become menopausal bitches. Even then.
So. In my research I realize, that MOST of the stories in the Bible are inspired from mythology. Yes, I said this already...in my last blog. This is a big deal to me! I also am coming to terms with God being a Rorschact (?) blot. Really - God is a human construct. I know, I know - I am still going to hell. Personally, I believe Hades chose the Underworld just to get out of all those meetings with Zeus and all the other Gods! Just think about all that ego!
I also did the tiniest piece of research on Joseph Campbell and one thing he said really hit home for me. "I don't need faith, I have my own experience!" This truly is what it comes down to for me. God has been recreated more times than my most recent paper...just in MY experience in the last week! so I had to come down to, "What does God mean to me?" Do I truly believe that God exists?
Well, those of you who are wondering if I was taken in the Rapture (HA! LOL) I do believe in God. The reason I believe in God is simply not about church or belief systems or prayer (well, maybe a little bit of prayer)...it's about my own healing and evolution. I've been healed instantaneously of strep throat, while being the biggest sinner there is by definition...I sold my house in Fenton in an amazing way (another story), and Holistic Fitness sold, thereby giving me a time of true blessing and healing. It simply doesn't matter to me how all of this is explained - it means God exists for me. God was there for me and is more real for me now, in this time of blessing and few dramatic events...than ever before. I think that is it. God doesn't have to be in the instantaneous healing...altho that's nice, VERY nice...but this time of evolution for me, is going to be a mainstay for me in my future. This is foundation time.
Truly. When I am sitting on my deck, writing my papers...it may be raining (I have a screened-in porch:), or windy, or sunny...the birds are out, the air is fresh and LIFE IS DAMN GOOD. I see God on my screened-in porch. It's an energy, an atmosphere. It is being soaked into my bones and is saturating into my blood. I will be able to bring this energy up, into my experience, from now on. And please understand. I DO appreciate what a blessed time this is. My life is fabulous. Glorious. and I am grateful. Even when the papers I write take on a personality of their own and become menopausal bitches. Even then.
Myth and Our Belief System
Okey Dokey - warning. There may be material in this blog that messes with your religion - ie: your belief system. It has certainly messed with mine.
So here's the deal. I am now writing a paper contrasting creation stories. Genesis vs (my choices) Greek mythology and Native American Indian myths. The first thing to define is myth - religious story that informs and guides a faith tradition. Marcus Borg, Bible scholar puts it another way...a story that has true meaning, whether or not it's factual.
The factual part...that's what got me. I grew up, like most of you, thinking my religion was about facts. I believed, without a doubt, that Jesus was born of a virgin, healed multitudes, that Samuel survived the lion's den (wasn't it Samuel?) and Abraham almost sacrificed his son...but his wonderful God stopped him at the last minute. (Except I always had issue that God would ask in the first place! but some things ya just don't question...until you go to seminary)
So I start doing my research for this paper, and find that many of the Bible stories are first told in Greek mythology...and it occurs to me that Zeus looks just like that description of God as the man in the white beard, sitting on a throne, making judgements. That God is also vengeful, unpredictable, and NOT comforting. Sounds like Zeus.
Speaking of Zeus - his mother Rhea hid him in a cave, in a basket...does anyone else think of Moses? Humans were made in "gods image" on two feet, so they could gaze up at the heavens, rather than at the ground, like animals. Oh yea - Zeus punished humans with floods. Pandora was given to men as an "equal creature of delight and torment", then given a box and told not to open it. uh - Genesis did come to mind...and what sort of God gives you a gift and then says not to open it?
What if the Bible is myth? All of it? Remember the definitions...they're true, just not factual. That means I get to decide what is meaningful to me - but more importantly, it means I get to decide who and what God is. Does this feel sacriligious to you? It felt overwhelming to me. Just tell me what to do! Tell me the truth! Tell me who God is - don't make me decide!
Isn't that what mankind has been doing for centuries? and then when God doesn't work out, we dump Him or move on to another belief system. I mean, Greek mythology is just as widespread as Christianity, except we would never say we believed it to be true. Except that it is the BASIS for Christianity. Yes, I do know I'm going to hell - except hell is just a belief system:) and somehow, since there are a few of you still emailing me that you like my blog...I must be striking a chord.
The thing that amazes me? How strong a belief system can be, and how a civilization can be run on fear. Some guy stronger than you, kills your neighbor for believing the wrong thing...and somehow, your sacred belief system is not so important b/c you want to stay alive. How many countries have been dominated this way?
Well, you can see that I want to share the wealth where all this thought processing comes in:) Thanks for listening! Again!
So here's the deal. I am now writing a paper contrasting creation stories. Genesis vs (my choices) Greek mythology and Native American Indian myths. The first thing to define is myth - religious story that informs and guides a faith tradition. Marcus Borg, Bible scholar puts it another way...a story that has true meaning, whether or not it's factual.
The factual part...that's what got me. I grew up, like most of you, thinking my religion was about facts. I believed, without a doubt, that Jesus was born of a virgin, healed multitudes, that Samuel survived the lion's den (wasn't it Samuel?) and Abraham almost sacrificed his son...but his wonderful God stopped him at the last minute. (Except I always had issue that God would ask in the first place! but some things ya just don't question...until you go to seminary)
So I start doing my research for this paper, and find that many of the Bible stories are first told in Greek mythology...and it occurs to me that Zeus looks just like that description of God as the man in the white beard, sitting on a throne, making judgements. That God is also vengeful, unpredictable, and NOT comforting. Sounds like Zeus.
Speaking of Zeus - his mother Rhea hid him in a cave, in a basket...does anyone else think of Moses? Humans were made in "gods image" on two feet, so they could gaze up at the heavens, rather than at the ground, like animals. Oh yea - Zeus punished humans with floods. Pandora was given to men as an "equal creature of delight and torment", then given a box and told not to open it. uh - Genesis did come to mind...and what sort of God gives you a gift and then says not to open it?
What if the Bible is myth? All of it? Remember the definitions...they're true, just not factual. That means I get to decide what is meaningful to me - but more importantly, it means I get to decide who and what God is. Does this feel sacriligious to you? It felt overwhelming to me. Just tell me what to do! Tell me the truth! Tell me who God is - don't make me decide!
Isn't that what mankind has been doing for centuries? and then when God doesn't work out, we dump Him or move on to another belief system. I mean, Greek mythology is just as widespread as Christianity, except we would never say we believed it to be true. Except that it is the BASIS for Christianity. Yes, I do know I'm going to hell - except hell is just a belief system:) and somehow, since there are a few of you still emailing me that you like my blog...I must be striking a chord.
The thing that amazes me? How strong a belief system can be, and how a civilization can be run on fear. Some guy stronger than you, kills your neighbor for believing the wrong thing...and somehow, your sacred belief system is not so important b/c you want to stay alive. How many countries have been dominated this way?
Well, you can see that I want to share the wealth where all this thought processing comes in:) Thanks for listening! Again!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Holy Cow
I am a student...one with a paper due next Friday and another one due the following Friday. The problem is that I can't stay on topic. It's not that I'm not interested in my topic..."Compare the ministry and miracles of Jesus with those of a current healer". Truly, if you are a spiritual nerd like I am, this is gold. The issue is that I want to make it bigger than the topic, and of course, I want to apply it to my own life...but that can't go in the paper. Remember? I'm a student, supposed to be practicing critical thinking and writing in focused and conclusive format. (with stinking footnotes to boot)
So. I have chosen Mary Baker Eddy to compare to Jesus. I have to say she comes off fairly well! Better than any other healer I am aware of. Truly - if half of the healings are true that she says she did - she is freaking amazing! She also healed multitudes. Many of her healings are documented...more than we can say for Jesus!
Why is it that MBE and Jesus could heal anything they wanted to? Is it that they were truly anointed? We have heard for centuries that Jesus was the "Son of God" - but that is not how Jesus described himself (it's how his apostles described him, 30-70 years later). And who was MBE?
I believe she was influenced by that dude "Quimby", but more so by her Puritan upbringing. This might have a tad to do with my trouble with her rigidity:) A psychologist would have a field day with her...she lost her husband, mother, and brother within 4 years of each other. Her son was taken away from her, her new husband betrayed her, and she lived in poverty for many years b/c she was a woman and couldn't own property. It makes me wonder if she "denounced" everything human b/c it just hurt too damn much?!
Ok - I'm giving you way too little information, if you don't have a basis in Christian Science. I also wonder how twisted a religion becomes, by the people who practice it. "What would Jesus do??" WE DON'T KNOW! What would MBE do? Again, only opinions.
So let's just put aside our religious differences. Do you believe in dramatic healing? Instantaneous? What are your perameters around that? MBE was big into "not sinning" and "denouncing error". OF COURSE, my question is...who gets to decide what is sinning and what is error? Might be my identity of being gay here...lots of people think I am a sinner and am going to hell...and, I have one or two issues with that. Jesus said a helluva lot more about judgement and compassion, let me tell ya! (Did I mention that Jesus said NOTHING about being gay?...again, back to topic...)
Whatever issues I have with MBE - she healed like a dynamo! But what does that truly mean? What if the Bible is myth? MBE certainly didn't think it was myth, and she healed like it was true...does that make it true? or is it like Marcus Borg says..."a story can be true even if it is not factual...".
Once again I have meandered all over this page. Thanks for reading and putting up with me.
So. I have chosen Mary Baker Eddy to compare to Jesus. I have to say she comes off fairly well! Better than any other healer I am aware of. Truly - if half of the healings are true that she says she did - she is freaking amazing! She also healed multitudes. Many of her healings are documented...more than we can say for Jesus!
Why is it that MBE and Jesus could heal anything they wanted to? Is it that they were truly anointed? We have heard for centuries that Jesus was the "Son of God" - but that is not how Jesus described himself (it's how his apostles described him, 30-70 years later). And who was MBE?
I believe she was influenced by that dude "Quimby", but more so by her Puritan upbringing. This might have a tad to do with my trouble with her rigidity:) A psychologist would have a field day with her...she lost her husband, mother, and brother within 4 years of each other. Her son was taken away from her, her new husband betrayed her, and she lived in poverty for many years b/c she was a woman and couldn't own property. It makes me wonder if she "denounced" everything human b/c it just hurt too damn much?!
Ok - I'm giving you way too little information, if you don't have a basis in Christian Science. I also wonder how twisted a religion becomes, by the people who practice it. "What would Jesus do??" WE DON'T KNOW! What would MBE do? Again, only opinions.
So let's just put aside our religious differences. Do you believe in dramatic healing? Instantaneous? What are your perameters around that? MBE was big into "not sinning" and "denouncing error". OF COURSE, my question is...who gets to decide what is sinning and what is error? Might be my identity of being gay here...lots of people think I am a sinner and am going to hell...and, I have one or two issues with that. Jesus said a helluva lot more about judgement and compassion, let me tell ya! (Did I mention that Jesus said NOTHING about being gay?...again, back to topic...)
Whatever issues I have with MBE - she healed like a dynamo! But what does that truly mean? What if the Bible is myth? MBE certainly didn't think it was myth, and she healed like it was true...does that make it true? or is it like Marcus Borg says..."a story can be true even if it is not factual...".
Once again I have meandered all over this page. Thanks for reading and putting up with me.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A Little of This...
I have been in such a quandary since getting back from seminary this time. A multitude of things. First, the instructors didn't keep the class under control and it became an "unsafe" place to have doubts, ask questions and not "go with the esoteric flow". Then I stayed with persnickety people who didn't tell me what they expected, but got upset if I didn't do things the way they wanted. I've never been that good at mind-reading! Lesson 1 - get my own place!
Third...the material is disconcerting. So, just read this and suspend your judgement so that this blog is not 30 minutes long with explanation. Let's just say the Old Testament is myth. It's a bunch of stories that somebody (ok - several somebodies) thought were important. Very few of any of the stories or books of the Bible were written by the name of the book...so back to that basic conjecture...the OT is myth.
So, holy shit, that's kind of a big deal. So if that is true - what does it do to my faith? (or yours?) Let's also go with the assertion, that just b/c a story is not factual, does not make it not true. So if the Bible is myth...with truth, even inspiring truth...the bottom line? I get to decide what is true for me, what inspires me and what doesn't work for me!
Religious leaders? They should always be judged as human, fallible, possibly gifted...but no different than someone who is good at math or music. Then each individual is required to discern what works for them, rather than swallow everything- "hook, line, and sinker"! Then when Jesus says, "...and greater works than these shall ye do..." it becomes a little more feasible...b/c we don't truly know what Jesus did, only what other people wrote about him YEARS! later.
How about Mary Baker Eddy? Fallible. Much of her inspiration was from a guy named Quimby. Does that take away from her healing the sick and raising the dead? Not if you see her as human, with a gift that she discerns for herself. Each religious leader as I see it, is gifted, fallible and have a VERY strong and charismatic personality. What we need to be careful of is thinking they can't be wrong, or human, or judging them with a "right or wrong" lens and nothing in between.
Religion emerges from a culture. It's language and it's symbols. If that religion survives, then the people in that religion, see their life through the lens of that religion. Just like the first 5 years of your life and what you absorbed, can't be erased from your DNA and how you respond to things...so do you see things through the religion you were raised in...even if you have changed religions.
Ok - these are my musings for today. They probably make no sense except to me. If you want to read the book that is helping me to clarify this mess...read Marcus Borg, "Reading the Bible Again for the First Time...Taking the Bible too seriously to take it literally". It's awesome.
Third...the material is disconcerting. So, just read this and suspend your judgement so that this blog is not 30 minutes long with explanation. Let's just say the Old Testament is myth. It's a bunch of stories that somebody (ok - several somebodies) thought were important. Very few of any of the stories or books of the Bible were written by the name of the book...so back to that basic conjecture...the OT is myth.
So, holy shit, that's kind of a big deal. So if that is true - what does it do to my faith? (or yours?) Let's also go with the assertion, that just b/c a story is not factual, does not make it not true. So if the Bible is myth...with truth, even inspiring truth...the bottom line? I get to decide what is true for me, what inspires me and what doesn't work for me!
Religious leaders? They should always be judged as human, fallible, possibly gifted...but no different than someone who is good at math or music. Then each individual is required to discern what works for them, rather than swallow everything- "hook, line, and sinker"! Then when Jesus says, "...and greater works than these shall ye do..." it becomes a little more feasible...b/c we don't truly know what Jesus did, only what other people wrote about him YEARS! later.
How about Mary Baker Eddy? Fallible. Much of her inspiration was from a guy named Quimby. Does that take away from her healing the sick and raising the dead? Not if you see her as human, with a gift that she discerns for herself. Each religious leader as I see it, is gifted, fallible and have a VERY strong and charismatic personality. What we need to be careful of is thinking they can't be wrong, or human, or judging them with a "right or wrong" lens and nothing in between.
Religion emerges from a culture. It's language and it's symbols. If that religion survives, then the people in that religion, see their life through the lens of that religion. Just like the first 5 years of your life and what you absorbed, can't be erased from your DNA and how you respond to things...so do you see things through the religion you were raised in...even if you have changed religions.
Ok - these are my musings for today. They probably make no sense except to me. If you want to read the book that is helping me to clarify this mess...read Marcus Borg, "Reading the Bible Again for the First Time...Taking the Bible too seriously to take it literally". It's awesome.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
TMI
Literally. Too much information. Last week was Esoteric Spirituality. This week is deconstructing the Old Testament. Did you know that much of the OT may be myth and myth only? Not just Adam and Eve...but much of what we know about Abraham, Joseph, David, Solomon etc. It's possible that none of it happened, but has been interpreted by our Christian lens to be true. It is said that Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all came from Abraham...but they can't prove it.
What about the Exodus story? 600,000 people wandering thro the desert for 40 years. No signs. No proof. What does it do to your faith if none of it is true? What if the 1st 5 books of the Bible were made up as teaching lessons to make certain points? If you want to watch the PBS documentary that we watched today on what they know to be true of the OT, you can either download it on Itunes or get it thro PBS. "Buried Secrets of the Bible", NOVA, PBS.
Then there is the Esoteric explanation for everything. Sorta like metaphysical, but different. Suffice it to say, my brain is reeling. It's like 3 different tracks running in my head...1) What if none of it is true, but all myth? 2) What if some of it is true, but not all...and I have to decide what is true for me? and 3) Esoterically, that there are "ages" as in Taurus, Pisces and Aquarian ages, that decipher much of what happened?
So the Esoteric belief system is "out there" - but makes a lot of sense in some ways. The problem is that most people here already have adopted it as part of their faith. There is one woman in particular who is "religious right" in her belief of the Esoteric explanation...and she just irritates me. She says things like, "No, that is wrong, this is right, you can't say that, and no, it didn't happen like that". I have recognized that this really puts up walls for me...I resist the education b/c she is so adamant that I have to accept it. The hell I do! And yet I am here to learn and be open to new ideas.
It just irritates me b/c I should be able to accept things at my own pace...not at hers. At least she is just another student, not one of the instructors. I'm not sure you could get her to admit that though. Anyway - you can see that I am having a few issues. AND - I am damn tired of living in someone else's house and not having any space of my own. There is simply no place for me to go that I can be by myself and it is exhausting me. If I am to move down here, it will have to be in space that is my own. I cannot share with someone else, especially if it is within their own living space.
Ok - I am done whining. Overload does that to me. 3 more days and Little Bit and I go home. Praise God.
What about the Exodus story? 600,000 people wandering thro the desert for 40 years. No signs. No proof. What does it do to your faith if none of it is true? What if the 1st 5 books of the Bible were made up as teaching lessons to make certain points? If you want to watch the PBS documentary that we watched today on what they know to be true of the OT, you can either download it on Itunes or get it thro PBS. "Buried Secrets of the Bible", NOVA, PBS.
Then there is the Esoteric explanation for everything. Sorta like metaphysical, but different. Suffice it to say, my brain is reeling. It's like 3 different tracks running in my head...1) What if none of it is true, but all myth? 2) What if some of it is true, but not all...and I have to decide what is true for me? and 3) Esoterically, that there are "ages" as in Taurus, Pisces and Aquarian ages, that decipher much of what happened?
So the Esoteric belief system is "out there" - but makes a lot of sense in some ways. The problem is that most people here already have adopted it as part of their faith. There is one woman in particular who is "religious right" in her belief of the Esoteric explanation...and she just irritates me. She says things like, "No, that is wrong, this is right, you can't say that, and no, it didn't happen like that". I have recognized that this really puts up walls for me...I resist the education b/c she is so adamant that I have to accept it. The hell I do! And yet I am here to learn and be open to new ideas.
It just irritates me b/c I should be able to accept things at my own pace...not at hers. At least she is just another student, not one of the instructors. I'm not sure you could get her to admit that though. Anyway - you can see that I am having a few issues. AND - I am damn tired of living in someone else's house and not having any space of my own. There is simply no place for me to go that I can be by myself and it is exhausting me. If I am to move down here, it will have to be in space that is my own. I cannot share with someone else, especially if it is within their own living space.
Ok - I am done whining. Overload does that to me. 3 more days and Little Bit and I go home. Praise God.
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