I Know How to Do This

Jules is at a big YUM conference...and they just sold her entire division.  This means she will be out of a job as of March 1.  The interesting thing is how much she has changed since we fell in love...she is now open to manifesting, believing in her instincts, and can even entertain the concept of "better than I can imagine":)    Kids - I know how to do this.  I do.  I know how to think positive, align my energy, manifest what I want, and all the steps leading up to this and after it.  I've done it, I've lived it, I've stressed over it.  The great news?  It's so much easier to see it in someone else, rather than yourself!  I am SO excited to see where this goes!

So - Jules is not quite so excited.  In fact, she is freaking out.  The great thing??  She has me.  Ok - that concept is awesome in itself...when have I EVER said or believed, that having me in one's life is a good thing?  But kids...I know how to do this!  Do I know that there will be challenges and breakthroughs and rough spots and overwhelming gratitude?  YES!  YES I do!  and Jules has so many talents and skills...and is so open to loving...she wants to love life, she has just been taught to be afraid and to talk negative...I mean...hell, what if you're wrong??  Seriously.  Can you imagine all that we are going to learn from this??  Can you imagine where she and I will end up when the day is over?  nope.  Who knows??

Can I just tell you how nice it is to be the stable one??  Go ahead - LOL - I know that could change at any moment...but at THIS moment, I am the stable one.  I know what I want, what I'm going for and I feel good.  I am also certain of Spirit in my life, that God is Good, ALL THE TIME...no exceptions.  So I can teach this to Jules, I can exemplify it, I can hold space for her while she comes into her own.  She has so many talents...truly...she can manage building contractors, train managers, build a team from nothing! to being in the top 5%...in less than a year.  Oh she has skills...just seeing that they can transfer to another profession is where she is limited.  Yet, she is so smart...Yale graduate and all that...her mind works so efficiently.  Once she "gets" this concept, she will latch onto it and YEEHAW!

So you all are my witnesses...hold space for me, holding space for her, holding space for God's great gifts.

Meadville Seminary

Didn't have to wait long for another post, huh?  Nope.  I'm in the mood, lonely, and nobody to talk to - so there ya go.  This week at Meadville Unitarian Universalist Seminary, in Chicago, has been an experience.  It has not been as emotionally disturbing, faith changing as my experiences at Sancta Sophia...but give them time.  Coming to Chicago, staying in an apartment I have never seen before, learning to negotiate the public transit system, and be totally alone in a city the size of Chicago...has been humbling.  On the whole - it's been great!  The first full week - it was 60 degrees...these last few days?  Snow and single digits with wind chill.  There is nothing like the wind chill off of Lake Michigan in Chicago.  When you come around the corner at Harrison and Michigan...it can almost take you off your feet.  Losing the feeling in your hands, happens in just moments. I'll be back in March, July and September...I'll let you know if there is wind chill or heat index.

What I found is that I don't gain any energy from church structure.  In fact, it exhausts me.  Thank God for Jules knowing corporate politics...she coaches me..."stay quiet, doodle, look up and smile".  I don't care if UU expands.  I don't.  I have my own spiritual path and I hope to influence others in their spiritual path...but it doesn't need to be in UU terms, not at all.  I hate politics and it totally annoys me to have someone inflict it on my spirituality.  And dear God - they are SO intellectual!  and diverse, which is good, right?  Except for all the humanists, atheists, and "recovering" everything, so that everything you say is controversial.  You can't pray or mention God, and certainly not Jesus!

and yet...they are totally pluralistic...meaning, they include all LGBT, all races, cultures, and lifestyles...and they mean it!  I'm guessing that 1/3-1/2 of the student population is gay.  All I can tell you is how fabulous that is.  To see many expressions of gay people being intelligent, strong, thoughtful and powerful!  it is just inspiring!  I can't tell you how huge this is...and I'm not sure I can give it up...no matter how wierd some of the other stuff they do is.

For instance - they have no passion.  Ok - that's not true.  Most of them believe in social justice, in a very passionate way...and act out that passion in very practical, concrete ways.  They do lots and lots of good things for the disenfranchised communities and are totally committed to that path.  But passion in their spirituality?  In their church services or music?  not.  When you have to be so careful not to offend ANYBODY...well, it dilutes the Spirit, ya know?

Can I be involved in a church and seminary that doesn't imbibe the Spirit?    I am here for an MDiv.  I am here for an MDiv.  It's my new mantra. It's going to be hard.  Really hard.  I remember the question being asked at Sancta Sophia..."What does it mean to worship a God who was crucified?"  Well, UU's don't really have a God, so they don't have to answer that difficult question.  But they also don't experience bliss in their church services, or their music, or in a god...at least that I have seen.  Let's just hope I haven't seen enough yet.

Recycling as a Romantic Endeavor

So Jules is corporate.  She works as an executive for YUM corporation.  She has had to deal with the "moguls" in trash and the amount of money they make, for the lousy job they do...irritates her...MORE than irritates her.  She doesn't believe that recycling really happens the way it's supposed to...but I am committed to recycling.  Totally committed.  I collect, sort and DRIVE my recycling to a depository several miles away.  Here in Chicago, this apartment building...there is no recycling.  It has made me crazy and I have walked my recycling to a dumpster several blocks away.  I repeat, I am committed.  However, Jules is not.

So, when we are at her house in the city, I collect our recycling and bring it back to Waterloo.  At first, she totally balked at me doing that.  Today, she is in Las Vegas at a conference...but on her way to the airport, she recycled.  For me.  Do you understand what I am saying??? She recycled, without me there, for me.  It made me cry.        Shut up!          It totally made me cry.              I'm gonna marry this woman.  Did I mention that she is beautiful? OMG - she takes my breath away.

Jules so wants to be loved, as do I...for who we are...but we are independant, stubborn, opinionated, and STRONG women...sometimes that's really hard to love...or maybe it's us allowing the love...
do you remember the song from Sound of Music...between Maria and Christopher?  "I Must Have Done Something Good"?  It's true.  I must have done something good to deserve this fabulous woman's love.  Ok - I get it - it's totally annoying to read someone else's gushiness...too damn bad.  I love this woman...and the point?  She is "able" for me.  She is "big" enough...capable of handling me...my independant, stubborn, opinionated strength....and my love - or at least she is learning to.  And so am I.

Damn - so this blog was supposed to be about my newest seminary experience.  Guess you'll have to wait.